do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
