you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
