She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
