We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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