R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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