Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize