whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
