No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
