puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
