is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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