My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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