she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In other news, I just burned my penis
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
