I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
