where am i from again
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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