Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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