i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
