you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
