fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
