Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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