I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
