Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize