Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
