I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
