Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think I sprained my soul last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
