her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
