Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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