dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
