Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Someone shit on the floor
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
