u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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