You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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