I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
