Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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