Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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