I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
there is glitter all over my balls
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
