Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
