Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
