She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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