I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
