somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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