she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize