i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
