Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
