i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
