he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
