I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
