am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
