Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
