So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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