There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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