Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
