what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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