It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
