Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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