Sry I called you an 8
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
