I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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