Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize