hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
