Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
