Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
