so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize