You smell like a Billy Joel song
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
