I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
