Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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