I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
