I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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