Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize